wish 2

A cali girl infected w
something Not Native, am i a
crab grass–am i??
a harsh in the mellows
a flounder in the shallows and Not ready 2
be bad til i squash that urge
Clawing/I'm a teenager/my own curse
& I hate facts
if the TV is explaining empathy
if I paid more
in attention
could I learn exactly how to be a caretaker...
say thanks in my namastes...
Really wild to watch the screen at all,
be to be found
My sole occupation of the day
is eternity, all ready
I think it's a bad time because...
every1 is out to lunch

from before in my hell hole

(a diray entree)

my new routine is about self! care!

today i drink kava kava (kavakava) with a little mixed rose, hips and allrounded and holy basil to Numb My Brain with a little weed (does it work?) somEtimEs it is SO relaxing to not think or breathe or notice the pouring rain outside, it has gone for 3 months now and I have not felt relief!! somEtimEs, you realize your own truth and it does Not mesh with other truths, but my 7th instinct tells me the future every day. its time to go, i know. I will wash my feet in jasmine water and here wash my face at 3PM :( I can't begin my day very early when I feel unmoored. Dont forget a love potion! It s for loving yourself, and alex asks, do you not love yourself? In reply I have: SomEtimEs you love yourself very much but you lose sight of somEthings, and suddenly you have taken MANY things for granted and thats where a potion maybe can come into play. If the Herbs Dont Work, the Sentiment Should.

Love Potion:
Rose,
Maca,
Mugwort,
Fresh Strawberry
in a Jar
covered with equal parts ACV and Good Raw Honey
ferment for 1 month
eat the pickled berries when you strain

where is my place

Two red dominos design
to grow my hair out long
A conspiracy under the bed it feels
strange to call out and where's my
jingle of bells
I escaped my favorite toxic waste
sorry to say i miss the filth and I'll mold this too
My liking flirts as i watch a peep
and a slip
Through
Wouldn't we all love it there, do you??

my mouth indistinct
sea anemone
feathered sucking sponge

smiles into lasting memories

in my mind I blow up
a black balloon

leg snakes into slender neck

cloud looks like a thigh
chicken wing
supersized

dangles hot pink
vulgar’s shadow

the three-eyed dog sniffs
one eye shyly out the corner

on the flipside
my clit is the horizon

thighs speckled beach
seaweeds fluorescent

that itchy grass
popcorn-bleached dry grass

splinter
skin the texture of a plastic schoolchair

ceaseless

inert an horizontal and i check
my pulse by my heart its
bounce to the roof i wonder
how many times can it crush against
my ribs before they break open
organs spilling out like a newly born, my chest bursters
reign supreme and i must
keep calm in the face of its kiss.

i cant help but
feel the pounding resounding
in every capillary in walking
without waking there is little
respite but to exercise a certain
amount of humanity will mean
my certain, crippled by the
weight of it's own self, how
could i possibly drag a body
with no arms to aid me in my
lacked pursual, in hoping for it
shuts down and when im
hoping it for to come a calm
blank floats the flood, how i
continue on an electric buzz
overstimulation
in the pitch dark

wifebeater

opening and blinking
hum my face
unafraid I bleach
glisten in soft-focus

born under
a light without memory
I flail, hiss
haven’t seen my feet
in years

Black sequins reflect the lilac sky
almost-black stretched fear
specific and eternal

You have to imagine
But no, I don’t

number LOS ANGELES

sunday i plant a
vampires kiss
i'm so greedy for it
all unhinged, my front
unzipped
to fill up on early morning dew
and 1 tear from each of u, but 2 giggles
on a view of a vista, with 3
handfuls of lettuce seed
totally exhausted but on my knees sucking
up the peeling painted
ceiling and my forever sunshine
coming
through a red silk
i have to drink 30 glasses of water to
get wet for 20 minutes to eat 1
and a half sandals and take
4
sips
from your coffee
after breakfast run ins learning to speak
25 miles of street, i know it like the palms
of my hands it's
mapped inside my eyelids
all my past neighbors are waving in succession and i have to close my eyes to smile
remembering to lean into it so i won't fall

at the park after dark
parents, teachers, grandparents

stick their tongues
inside the crepe myrtle’s hump

licking out a trail


11,000 virgins
in tattered blue satin

carve flowers into navels
loop hands through petals

to scoop and scatter
seeds in the coldwet grass

my hair is a staircase
i climb on hands and knees

cum in the bath
of my blood, emerge
as tall as trees

finally the men shut up

i won’t sing for prosperity
i lost my virginity and now
i gurgle tomato juice, thick and salty
ammonia and sweat on mom’s upper arms
she paints my parts
wine purple

haiku 1

i do not like to
shower i just like to be
alone, no worry

haiku2

drink the tea to feel
all your grief can be good for
please smell this daisy

(im here i have few words and they are all wrong, i try to mail you feelings but it takes too long in the post and the translation always dissipates in time)

in the dream my dad
water-slicked
i'm so glad you
dream i am like
peering down into
a group of people
the mountain and
i've already
plucked my nipple
of my belly from
fingers: shocked
brown, like an old woman's

in My head
they think
Is it too full? Or not full enough?
To feel
Requires
What I looked for under you
My basic understanding of human
ness
Boiled to an animal instinct
With all its animality removed

first and first off
first of all
firstly
guess it leads to
thirsty
first of all
wanna drink me?
thirst of it all
try to fill me?
let's ! begin !

a child

on my knee

grew into a woman

coated in a gray film

We peeled the gray back 

to pink pulp, red bleeding

The whole family came

I hope Anna can’t smell
the warm           on my belly. I get annoyed with
                                                       the work of conversation


                                                  the      scene. Kismet crushes my soul and I keep getting
bright red jewel in the middle, a scab. I must’ve scratched
Summertime. Why is fake laughter so creepy, and catching yourself
                                                                              white woman
                           looks like my friend, her blonde

                                                                               teeth

                                    sweet              on          a hot
   softball         scoop
                                   chocolate sauce, and
       

                                                                                            hi:)

the plentitude of the plaintiff
Please,
How may I help?
They ask faces pressed against
A clamor and a din

~

sucking the sharp end of this peach's rock
fruit fruit fruit
scattered carcasses lying all across
under a full blood
moon
A PIT IN A HOLE
   of sweat
and it smells like september
which is to say rotting guava
fermenting into vinegar
or dirt

Every morning the animated claw
selects me from my womb
Pulled up
To bottle feed by machine

One little piggy

Slam on the snooze only makes the
nightmare five minutes longer
Re up for one more sunrise
At one PM

I could stay up all night
for my industrial bang

knowing the crane always comes for me
eventually

your tacky ombre eyes
b/w cheeks trembling as pudding
& tempurpedic forehead
regurgitate
mites on my face
fucking all night
if ever i leave my room
it's just because i want to
here i am, desiring
an attractive record shelf
ropes of honey
that good bacteria

all i have to

each step

on broken feet

draw a breath shape

not a woman

sun dusting nipples

My eyes


I’d like to rest in there, but I get so
ink across the surface
of a skylight I’ve never seen
that gold light
flirting with my knees
I could laugh in the dark

detached from context
a woman got off the bus
reached into her knotted cream
money and scattered
pink blossoms

she put a blue square
in my hand the opacity
of a jolly rancher
it was a language

a bright yellow throat
and severed head
sold separately

pissed into the sunset
as it began to peach

burrs in my panties
a sour taste in my mouth

the clouds combed my hair
by the teeth

can a flower bloom dried?

at least then
it will wilt collectively
under the taut green

this here is my first and
newest son
sitting below the window sill
there's not much light that comes through here
but this afternoon he has entrusted forward
one thousand new spires
and his conical reflections
the shadows of which
will feed me throughout the season

that new trumpet sounds
soaring !
it pulls the tip upwards towards
an infinite
its replicating the moment
you realize you could be
hi
or
in love

to swallow it all whole and expect a different outcome
isn't that insanity?

to have this trumpet on
well it mimics experience

i don’t want to be stoned
i want to be lucid as an envelope

 i do drugs and keep to myself
take pleasure, scratch my butt

sophie says
they want you to be depressed
it makes you a better consumer

before i go to bed, i tell myself
dog people and cat people
are not real

i text kyle nice
nice hole

everyone has the same books
and sloppy ceramics

Blue dicks
luxurious basics

i have a sloppy blue vase, too

sprouting pink and still
what i’m thinking about is
how can life be so boring
when syd yells

do you know how fun it is
to run down a hilll??

Marked and dated
On time
Each Mysterious bruise
         bestows
belies
A conundrum


"Good Things Take Time"

Our friendship
My body
These matisse backs line the entrance
Each point on myself reveals your development
The shakier your hand
The confidence of concision

Using"Remember"
trying to reach that distance,

This is how we did

getting caffeinated to sit still
getting stoned to go slow

strawberry in the sun
be spring break already

bored and skulking around the backyard
with my bow and arrow

one for the babysitter through the window
one for mom in the kitchen
one for brother on the lawn

Some days I lay so awake
A creature of the night
I am
Your little devil
Here to restore the worldly orders
of ineptitude
and faith
Do you dare return to whence you came?
The caverns and tarmac glisten
With an oil slicked sheen
It hasn't been this warm before,
Each day is a record
This year is warmer than the last,
which was the warmest, or the one before

 as well
My worry is winged and I am
fanged
Since the last day, I have never
been released from a hunger
The plentitude  of the plaintiff
Please
How may I help

The origin of my fantasy ??
I found it on the cover of my first cd

That liquid slides
Into a slap

Sometime


I think my liquid obsession
Began with the strokes
And ended in Elbow length latex

I know what a BJ is

I push two cherry pits in my dog ears
so i won't hear the fridge-suck

licking my wounds

In January
It's sixty degrees today
With pouring light
Glorious! Everyone is shouts from
the st to my bedroom
I'm here on the couch
Coughing blood and
slow
fast downing jars of honey
Running t tree over my open sores
Trying to remember when my luck
first ran out
Where i left my wallet
How my body has collapsed from
under me

coconut oil smears
lamplight into puff-balls

Let's think about flip flop
Frog attempts to leave his pool
His ungainly legs bow
Now out from him
Like his knees have multiple bends
at their own will and volition

So then attempting as a youth
To go farther with Blue flippers
We replicate this experience
Please Do Not Run

You leave and
Vice verse

My blood type

gray tubey blobs
like penis fish
a forest of them
intertwined like fingers

& encased
by my hourglass face

Imagine the layers of skin
How they must stretch infinitely back

Millions of levels to this sponge
An eternity of depth
So I picture a skinning.
It's hard to cknceptualize a scrape and
How could all those layers give to cement, They never end
And yet
  This?
this is proof

It's all one!
A map from a film
Many many dots all connected with
a unit line
Tracing it all the time
Sometimes is exhausting
The people in the st all fall from it
Unanimously they all know one
person in common

It's too much energy to be
profound any longer
Just going on by

All the cameras turn and look
Away
There's baby powder on the floor
For all six generations of dancers